Thursday, December 17, 2009

The Adventures Of Fuck Montreal In The Land Of The Free Part I

Dec 2nd - 2009 (Nova Scotia - New Brunswick - Maine) Full Moon in Gemini
-Menthols in the ditch

Fuck Montreal are sitting in a Dunkin' donuts right off of the I-95. We were just about to hitch out of Bangor when we noticed not 1 but 2 State trooper vehicles parked outside blocking our path. SO! we head directly in to the belly of the beast for quite possibly the worst coffee offered in Bangor. We'll wait it out inside until they leave, hitching = crime as far as we know in the land of the free.

Yesterday/Last night we spent 12 and 1/2 hours on a bus headed South.
-Lots of sleep
-Hating on New Brunswick
-Choose your own adventure books ( Snowstorm at the black swan in to be exact - we ended up passing out in a hallway and hallucinating from our decisions)
-discovering the whimsical beauty that is Sussex, NB, The dairy capital of NB)
-Royal family trading cards! ( who knew Prince Phillip was a Gemini?)and WCW (that's world championship wrestling) cards from 1993 (Two Arn Anderson cards in one deck!!)

The border was relatively hassle free due to the snakey junglepants, shopper who came off sketchier then us. We got to Bangor, ME around 6pm and there were no bus' out til the next morning and we couldn't hitch in the dark. Our bus driver, Scott, offered to drive us to the Super * which was Super cheap and he even stopped to let us pick up booze on the way. We grabbed a dusty six pack of Colt 45 in a can, some camel wides and checked into to affordable luxury. The clerk offered us the choice of smoking or a non-smoking room and Alex jumped at the option for a smoking room based on the fact you can't have that in Canada. The clerk informed us that we were not in a socialist country and gave us a key. Smoking rooms are gross by the way.

Dec 3rd
- 2009 (Maine-New Hampshire-Massachusets)
-Shemale Angels: Full Throttle or New Hampshire tax free booze castle of wonders

We woke up at 9AM and went down for our free Continental Breakfast, what! We felt truly worldly in the land of the free. The canned fruit cocktail and doughnuts were delightful.
We checked out, climbed through some ditches and clambered out onto the I-95. We stuck our thumbs out and away we went. Our first ride was from a local "Maineiac" landscaper man who took us an hour or so down the road. We talked about bullying the handicapped, listened to 3 days grace and got lost looking for cigarettes. He dropped us off at a handy off-ramp, informing us it was illegal to hitch on the interstates but not illegal on the ramps. Lots of single ladies and old couples passed us by as we waited. But fortune rewarded our patience with an awesome ditch find: 5 discarded shemale porn DVD's! The afternoon was looking better and better. We got another ride all the way to Freeport which is 15miles out of Portland ME. Our driver was nervous around the State Trooper vehicles we passed due to being on probation for selling pills. Lots of pills. He was really nice and him and Al discussed the finer points of early 90's east coast/west coast gangster rap.

In Freeport we called Franc and Chrissy who would drive a little further and come meet us there. While waiting we went to a rib shack where they served funny mixed drinks with all different types of ribs floating in them. We had gumbo and beer. We ate all their various BBQ sauces with our fingers and saved a cooked crawdad for Franc and Chrissy(Which is still in the van as we type).
On our way to Ludlow, MA we stopped at the New Hampshire tax free boozatorium liquor castle of dreams. We bought a 3litre jug of red wine and a 60 of Gin for $17! Oh my.
We arrived at Manny Lopes/Cooking with Dad headquarters and regaled in red wine and Portuguese sausa

Dec 4th/ Dec 7th - 2009 (Ludlow,Springfield, Northampton)
-Broken Strings, stolen guitars and cold symptoms

Practice makes perfect as we gear up for our next string of shows. Franc on drums, Thom on bass 2 hours a day. Things are shaping up. Franc and Chrissy have been sick and now Jenna is coming down with some symptoms. Always good. She is working her witchy ways right now, ingesting a small cauldron full of magical remedies.
We played the old dynamite records spot in Northampton on Friday, it went well. We practiced full band since we arrived here in Ludlow and things were going fine. When we called Zack to find out what time load in was at he informed us not to bother bringing our drum kit since the show had to be quiet and more acoustic based. Jenna and Alex decided to try and pull an acoustic set out of their collective asses and it turned out pretty well. Played a bunch of old songs and a mix of new ones we never ventured in to before sans band. Lots of reverb and space echo's, It was still too loud. This can probably be blamed partially (at least on alex's part) to the cheap cheap New Hampshire gin we smuggled in a Nalgene bottle and Alex's insatiable thirst for all things pink lemonade.

::end part 1

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